Endgame
by thidwickthebigheartedmoose
Summary: Matt's reaction to Mello's plan to kidnap Takada. Matt and Mello's points of view, no pairings, rating for some very bad language.


Author's Note: …meh

Author's Note: …meh. Inspired by "I will Follow you into the Dark: Matt/Mello" by "reluctantlydancing" on youtube. It didn't come out like I was hoping, but I didn't really have a plan, so I guess I can't complain.

Aug 31 2008: Some typos cleared up, fixed up the ending a bit.

Disclaimer: There is a reason that the bar at the top of your screen says "fanfictiondotnet" Also, the title has little to nothing to do with anything.

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Endgame

Mello fell silent and continued going through his reports, last minute updates, and maps. Ah, there it was, the soft click of one of Matt's laptops closing, the careful steps away from his station through the narrow pathway of cords, hardware and tools…

Then, furious pacing. A thud-Matt must have kicked something, the wall most likely, as there were things on the table that would have fallen-a crash, porcelain shattering. "Damn it, Matt, don't throw the dishes!"

Another dish was thrown, and Mello regretted reacting, not so much because of the plate but because he'd given Matt a opening. "Go ahead. Rant, rave, whatever. But we're leaving in fifteen minutes."

"What the hell were you taking when you concocted this fucking plan?" It wasn't shouted. Matt never yelled at the beginning, no matter what he shoved and broke physically. He didn't have the personality to go from quiet, listening, unobtrusive to a verbal barrage. It was like getting into a pool; Matt was the type to stick his toes in first and submerge painstakingly slowly. Mello jumped.

"To beat Kira." He kept flipping through the pages and even kept half his mind on his task.

"By throwing your life away?" Matt hissed. Mello had no answer.

More pacing. "Where's my car coming from? I'm not dealing with another one of those jacked up cars your stupid mafia buddies liked."

"The car will meet your expectations." Mello chanced a glance at Matt, who had stopped moving to stare at the back of his head. He nodded, but didn't ask where it had come from. There was no need. Mello trusted no one but Wammy's for supplies.

"What am I going to do with my system?"

"Just leave it here. No one will trace this apartment to us, and Roger has instructions to have it picked up 72 hours from now if you don't call him."

"Why?" The word had a dangerous chill to it, and was considerably louder than his previous questions.

"Because we might have to lay low for awhile. There's no guarantee that we'll be able to move around directly afterwards."

"Fine." More pacing. Mello had given the right answer, but Matt couldn't contain the nervous (not nervous, furious) energy anymore, and had worked himself up to shouting as well. "What fucking precautions are you going to take? The damn taskforce knows your fucking name, Mello! Kira's told all his fucking pawns, and the only reason you're still breathing is because Yagami _died_. You're a dead man walking! Where's your fucking paranoia gone? _You. Are. Dead._ And you're going on a suicide mission! For what? Why the hell are you doing something this fucking moronic?"

"Because I don't want Kira to—"

"So you don't fucking have to deal with the aftermath" Matt interrupted. "You can't _stand_ that you're helping Near! You don't want to deal with him, and his questions, and his fucking attitude. You don't want to accept the fact that you're doing what Roger told you to do, you've got too much fucking pride for that! So you're thinking that you're just going to slip off into nothingness so you don't have to deal with any of that crap! You're going to go on your merry way, leave me with the fucking clean up, leave me in a position that I don't _want, _that no one wants me _in_! You think I can work with Near any better than you can? I can't. And you're going to fucking leave me alone with him."

"No, I'm-"

"And even if you don't fucking die, you're going to disappear, and this time I won't be able to find you! Damn it all, Mello! It took me years to track you back down after you left Wammy's, and it was only because your fucking-third rate hacker couldn't perform as well as he could talk that I found you at all! You're going to evaporate, it's like you won't exist anymore!" Matt broke off, and his pacing ceased right behind Mello's head. "I'm not going to do it, Mello. And you're not either. No fucking way am I allowing this."

Mello finally looked his best friend in the eye. "You remember the condition that I let you stay." It wasn't a question.

Matt growled. "When I said I'd follow your fucking orders and stay safely removed from your little gang, I figured that you wouldn't go _insane_ and come up with something as _stupid_ as this!"

"Do you want Kira to win? Do you really want that bastard to win after what he did to L?"

"Quite frankly, I don't really give a damn about L anymore, Mello! I was never going to be L. I never tried to be. I stayed in the top three so I could be Matt. I don't give a flying fuck about justice or morals. I'm a hacker, and that's all I want to be, all I'm gonna be. The man never had much influence on me anyway. I'm in this for you, and I don't appreciate you deciding to go die on me." And oh, if looks could kill, Mello would be sincerely hoping that those orange tinted goggles offered him protection.

"Do you want Near to fail?" Matt's expression softened. No, neither of them wanted Near dead. Of course Mello hated, hated, _hated_ him, but Near was the only other person on their level now that L was dead. And Matt had never really disliked Near at all-they'd been as close as two recluses could be, once upon a time. Now Matt looked horribly, horribly vulnerable. Not how someone who was about to commit a highly dangerous kidnapping should look. Not how Matt should look in general. But thankfully, the wounded look left his eyes after a moment.

"Don't you? If Near fails, then you've won. It's not like Kira can find you, and you could take him down at any time." They both knew it was a bluff, but right now both their states of mind depended on not calling it.

"No, I can't. Near still has support behind him. He's got Wammy's, and despite what Kira may think, he's got influence over the US still. For Kira to lose, Near has to be the one with all the cards. It's either Kira or the both of us."

"Then why not just fucking contact him and tell him about the fucking extra notebook? You'd both come out of it alive and well, and Kira would have no chance! If beating him means so much to you, sacrifice total victory! But you won't accept a tie," Matt said bitterly.

"That's exactly what I'm doing, Matt! This way, Near will realize what's going to happen, and he'll crush Kira like the vermin he is!"

"But you'll die before it's over. Or you'll be as good as dead. Do you really expect me to accept that?" Mello had no answer to that, because yes, he did.

"We've got to go, Matt. Just…come back here, ok? I won't be back tonight, but I swear, I'll see you again as soon as possible. I promise I won't run." And he met Matt's worried gaze steadily, lying as well as he'd been taught to do at Wammy's. And Matt finally, finally let go.

…

Going out with a bang. Matt smiled, but the expression felt wrong on his face, knowing what was coming up. And he did know what was coming up. Both of them were going to die tonight. There was no uncertainty anymore.

Mello was a silky and well-trained liar, but he should have realized Matt wouldn't be fooled by anything he might say to reassure. Mello was going to do his bit then die, and he was expecting Matt to deal with the loneliness, the guilt, and the everything else afterwards.

Matt wouldn't get in his way of his plan, but he would change it very slightly. His only regret was that Near would be left all alone.

But _Mello_ would be the one following his best friend in the darkness of death. 'Cause there was no way in heaven or hell that Matt would let himself be left behind again.

A/N: A review would be appreciated...


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